What a year it has been! December is a month where I reflect on how the year was and also plan things that I need to do next year. This is the first festive where I was indoors most of the time. As much as I love great company, this festive was different for me. I was more happy being alone reading than being out and about.
I have never stretched like I did this year. A year that started so well. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, I was able to see it in January 2013. Hopeful as I was, and very detailed, I wrote the plans down, my 2013 plans. The year started with a new year’s lunch with friends, good food and great conversations, more my style! Mom likes to say “If God could show us the future, we would not make the decisions we make because we would have seen that’s not the best direction to go”. If I knew that 2013 would be a benchmark year for me, I would have asked God to be a little easier on me, so I stretch slowly by a year, and not by a month.
The light I saw at the end of the tunnel, I stopped seeing it as 2013 grew older. It’s dark. Reviewing my plans I wrote, I realise not even one of them was accomplished. I’ve learned how it’s easy for one to have faith in the dream that God has promised. We unconsciously have faith in blessings instead of having faith in the Blesser. It’s easy for one to have faith in their purpose or vision, which everything they do is to get that vision to come to life that they forget God. We idolise these things…unconsciously so! That is the very reason we get so crushed and don’t want to try again when things don’t work out. We literally give up and get angry at the Creator asking… “If you knew that’s not my vision, my calling, so how come you gave me the go ahead sign!” not realising we are on the right track, just the wrong way of how to get there. A harsh year it’s been for me, I had become laxity of some things and realised that honestly, I’m not as wise as Him, hence He has given me the ability to ask for His wisdom and know when to turn left or right.
God removed the veil so I may see proper and see what I need to pursue. A year where ive learned to trust God fully. A year where I was desperate half the time not knowing which decision to take next.
Growing up, I would get very excited about the New Year. As I grow older, I realised that it’s not about the New Year, but it’s about understanding the season that I’m in. A season can be longer or shorter than a year, it can also begin at the end of the year and overlap to the New Year. I need to know and understand the season that I’m in. Life is full of seasons, and so is a full year. After spring, comes summer, followed by autumn and winter. The seasons are inevitable, they will take place. So is life. It has seasons and whether I’m ready or not, they will take place in my life. The worst that could happen is being in the same page with God but different times. The destructive thing that can happen is to be in a season when that season long ended. You miss opportunities because you are holding on to things you were supposed to let go of a long time ago.
A year I’ve seen some of my friendships end. Toughest reality I had to face because I’m passionate about relationships and would do all I can to save my relationships, but I learned when a friendship season has ended, nothing I do will make that person stay. Before a friendship gets messy and end ugly, it’s best to let go of people I don’t need where I’m going, and the sad truth is, they don’t need me where they are going as well! Before friendships became toxic and destructive, I had to let go. I have learned that
“the most thing true friends can discover is that they can grow separately without growing apart.”
A bruised heart
A year I learned that when people act rebellious; when they stop doing what they love and some are just bitter, it’s not that they are pessimist peeps. People are hurting out there! People are disappointed with God! It’s so sad how we are too quickly to judge when a person acts in an unusual way. Be gentle, they are already condemning themselves. The very thing that you think you’ve got it right and you just don’t understand why they next person can’t get it right, is the very thing God might humble you with. I’ve learned its okay to fall at times, made me less judgemental and a chance giver to myself and others who need it.
Matters of the heart
I still say, you will be surprised of the many things you can live without. A heartbreak needs its own post! That pain is a joy stealer. It makes the body numb and it’s painful. I still don’t know how I survived the most heartbreak I always feared its occurrence in my life, but hey…we let go and move on, not bitter, but knowing love is a risk and a choice you make if you want to experience it.
It’s been a great year, a benchmark year for my destiny. A year I will remember God for, for the rest of my life! As I sign off 2013 with this note and peace,
Thank you Lord for 2013!